Exclusive! What the Devil Was Doing In The First Seven Days

I’ve been reading the Reader Digest March copy and came across with this article. I think this is the modern ways to relate all the ‘bad’ things happen nowadays with the nature of creation we’ve been taught before. Read this and share your smile….

In the beginning God created heaven and earth. And earth was without form and void.

And God made a circular light in the heavens, and He called it the Sun. And God saw that the light was good. And the Devil made a smaller light, rectangular in shape, and he called it TV. And the Devil saw that the light was bad.

And God made springs which came out of the ground, oozing fountains of pure, fresh water. And God saw that the water was good. And the Devil invented the fizzy drinks. And saw that the fizzy drinks were bad.

And God said, ‘Let the earth bring forth vegetables, and the herb of the field, that the children may grow up healthy’. And it was so. And the Devil said, ‘Let there be deep-fried potatoes’.
And God said, ‘Let the waters bring forth 10 000 varieties of fish, that they may provide sustenance for the children’. And the Devil arranged that the fish be smothered in batter, deep fried, and served with deep-fried potatoes.

And God created the cattle of the field, and said, ‘Behold, I have given you every living creature that moveth ; to you it shall be for meat’. And the Devil showed how the meat could be minced and turned into burgers, and suggesteth that it always served with deep-fried potatoes.

And on the seventh day, God rested and asked that his children rest too, and use the day to contemplate the wonders of creation. And the Devil created the all-day brunch, cartoon TV channels, and Sunday newspapers filled with articles about celebrities, that the minds of the children be filled with rubbish and the bodies filled with yet more deep-fried potatoes.

And as God said to the boy, ‘Take the girl and go forth and multiply. And of your seed I shall make a great nation, as numberless as the stars of the heavens’. And the Devil invented the computer and recruited 10 000 demons to fill it with online battles and images of top-heavy women. And the boy did part with the girl and did instead cleave to the computer.

And God pointed out to the girl that He had made her with many attractive blandishments which she could use whenever the boy was away from the computer. And the Devil invented the Nintendo DS Lite so that the boy will be able to take the computer games with him wherever he goes.

Now the serpent was more subtle than any of the animals that God had created. And the Devil did enter into the serpent and caused him to say to the girl and the boy, ‘the tree in the middle of the garden the Lord hath told you not to touch. But I say unto you, if you eat of the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, your eyes will be opened and you shall be as gods’.
And the boy and the girl looked at the serpent and said unto him, ‘No thanks. We liketh not fruit. But hast thou any deep-fried potatoes?’
And here endeth today’s scripture reading. Amen.

[The story of creation with an unhealthy serving of deep-fried potatoes]
Tall Tales From Asia by Nuri Vittachi